This morning was a little wet and rainy, and the house was very quiet when I woke up and took my laptop into the front room to check my email. It was then that I saw an email from the San Francisco Department of Public Health, unfortunately updating me that I had not been selected to progress further in the interview process for the Summer HIV/AIDS Research Program. I was crestfallen and a little surprised, and just sat there and breathed for a while. I knew I was shooting high with this opportunity, but after my first interview I came away feeling pretty good. After processing this for a few minutes, I realized it meant my indecision/uncertainty about the summer was ended: I was going to stay in South Africa.
Weeks earlier, I had decided that for the summer I would either go to San Francisco for this internship (if I was accepted), or remain in South Africa. Going home was no option (though I miss everyone, and I’ll see you in July!) When I realized I was staying here in the country, I suddenly became excited- my immediate future was decided, at least to some extent. And then there were people to tell, and steps to take! But first, I decided to take the day to myself, and go out and think.
I took the train out to Kalk Bay, and I think I went to that same tidepool area as I did before my birthday, and lay out again in the sand with only my thoughts and the sky above and the ocean in front of me. I remember calling my Dad and talking through things with him. Again it was cold and shitty in CT… and in Cape Town I was laying on this beach, though clouds and misting rain did begin to come off the mountains later that day. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t disappointed that I missed out on this opportunity; particularly, it makes me concerned about getting the experience I need in public health or health research to make a successful transition to employment after I graduate- I was ready to take a step with this program. But how much does that all matter, exactly? I’m increasingly questioning whether public health is what I want to go into, and there are other ways to enrich one’s life besides getting a paid internship. Living in San Francisco for the summer would have been awesome, but there were definite drawbacks, not the least of them including cost. I almost think I can live in Cape Town without an income and ultimately come out of the summer with more money than if I lived in San Francisco with this job (SA is pretty cheap, y’all! I’ve never spent more than $45 on a week’s worth of groceries, and that’s a lot!)
I’m blathering. Gonna try to get this blog up to date before I leave Cape Town on Monday. More on that in a bit.
What David Does 